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How does the constellation method help with recurring patterns of relationships?

Mar 7, 2025 | Article

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Many of us find ourselves repeatedly in similar relationships or situations where problems and conflicts seem to recur. Often these patterns can be linked to our family system and ancestral experiences that influence us unconsciously. Constellation is an effective method for identifying and resolving such recurring patterns, allowing us to live more freely and consciously.

What is the constellation method?

Constellation is a systematic method that reveals unconscious connections and influences in our family system. It allows us to make visible the hidden dynamics and patterns that affect our lives and relationships. The creator of the method, German psychologist Bert Hellinger, found that many of our problems stem from imbalances in the family system and unresolved traumas passed down through generations.

In the constellation process, a spatial image representing the family system is created in which the actors or representatives are positioned according to the client’s internal sense of the situation. The representatives move spontaneously in relation to each other, revealing obstacles. This allows hidden connections and tensions in the system to be identified. During the process, the client becomes aware of these influences and the constellation helps to find ways to resolve and heal them.

Causes of recurrent patterns of communication

Recurring patterns of communication can be the result of several factors:

  • Intergenerational trauma: Unresolved traumas or difficult experiences in the lives of ancestors can be passed on to subsequent generations, affecting their behaviour and relationships.
  • Subconscious loyalty: We often carry a subconscious desire to be loyal to our ancestors, repeating their patterns or taking on their burdens, even if they limit us.
  • System imbalances: When there have been marginalised or forgotten members in the family system, this can lead to imbalances that manifest as recurring patterns in the lives of offspring.

How does the constellation method help?

In the constellation process, a spatial image representing the family system is created in which the actors or representatives are positioned according to the client’s internal sense of the situation. This allows hidden connections and tensions in the system to be identified. During the session, the client becomes aware of these influences and finds ways to resolve and heal them.

The story: Mari’s recurring relationship patterns

Mari (name changed) turned to the constellator because she found herself repeatedly in relationships where partners were emotionally unavailable. During the session, it was revealed that Mari’s grandmother had lost her first love in the war and was never able to fully grieve. This unresolved grief was passed on to subsequent generations, affecting both Mari’s mother and Mari’s own relationships. In the constellation process, the loss of her grandmother was acknowledged and honoured, freeing Mari from an unconscious pattern and enabling her to build healthier relationships.

“I feel as if I have finally freed myself from invisible shackles – I can now create relationships that are not defined by the shadows of the past.”

Who is the constellation method suitable for?

The constellation method can be useful for those who:

๐Ÿ’š Experience recurring problems in relationships or other areas of life.

๐Ÿ’š Feel unexplained emotional difficulties, such as anxiety, anger or sadness.

๐Ÿ’š Want to understand and address the impact of the family system on their lives.

๐Ÿ’š Seeking deeper self-awareness and personal growth.

Summary

The Constellation Method is a powerful tool to help identify and resolve recurring patterns of relationships and other life difficulties related to our family system and ancestral experiences. By becoming aware of and healing these subconscious influences, we can free ourselves from limiting patterns and move towards a more whole and rewarding life.

If you feel that recurring relationship patterns or other unresolved issues are affecting your life, the constellation method may be just what you need to find clarity and healing.

Lisamaterjalid

๐Ÿ’š If you would like to see the constellation session with your own eyes, find a suitable workshop on the Belong platform: https://constellations.belong-events.com/et

๐Ÿ’š Read more about the constellations here: https://belong-events.com/konstellatsioonid/

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